Pause
by Darth Atlanta
Summary: Let's take a break, shall we? Pause reality for a while and just remember these moments. (A series of, usually short, fluff writings focused around F!Hawke and Fenris.)
1. Admirer

**Hey ya'll. It's fluff time~ **

**Dragon Age belongs to Bioware and EA, but you already know that.**

**Hawke:**** Sparrow. Sometime During Act I or II.**

**Enjoy.**

"If I were you, I'd consider myself a very lucky elf. You've already met three people who have taken a liking to you, despite your broody nature."

"Really?" He said, deadpan and disbelieving.

"First of all, there's Isabela. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's taking all her willpower to not jump you every time she gets you alone. I don't think it's just physical either, I think she relates to you in some way." I tapped my chin thoughtfully, then glanced back at Fenris to find him staring at me with an eyebrow raised, thoroughly unconvinced. I snorted and threw my hands up.

"Fine, don't believe me! But it's true, there's more to her than she lets on." I then started pacing in front of the fireplace, arms folded. I knew he was just watching me go back and forth.

"Then there's Varric, he thinks you're 'cool'. Seriously, did you know he's basing his next hero off you? He was saying something about 'brooding' being the new 'charming', whatever that means. You do realise now that he knows you're not a stuck-up, arrogant, son-of-a-bitch, his words not mine, he's gonna try and provoke you every chance he gets, right?"

"Stuck-up?" He objected, "Arrogant? Son of a...?" I stopped my pacing and faced the elf, who now had an elbow leaning on the table beside him, cradling his chin in his palm, sulking at this news of how well his first impression went. He then sighed, let his hand fall to the table top, and turned to face me again. He shrugged, suddenly nonchalant, and said,

"Well, I guess my first impression _could've_ been better."

"Could've?" I scoffed, "You refused to speak to anyone except for me for three weeks, even when we were at The Hanged Man!" I laughed as I remembered images of him slouched in a corner, like a stray cat cornered by ravenous beasts. If any of my companions tried to initiate conversation he'd glower at them, his lips pressed into a firm line. I wouldn't have been half surprised if he'd actually hissed.

I opened my eyes from the memory, a smile still playing on my lips, but stopped short when I realised he was just watching me again, a smirk and lowered eyebrows.

"What?" I pouted, narrowing my eyes at him. He shook his head.

"Do you realise you close your eyes and laugh when remembering something? Like you're in your own little world." He said this slowly, cocking his head to one side, watching me. He knew that made me uncomfortable. I looked away, feeling warmth on my neck threatening to rise up to my cheeks.

"Yes, well, I'm always in my own little world. It's nice here; you should come over some time." I mumbled. He chuckled, but I refused to return his gaze. After a few moments of silence I caved. He also knew I couldn't stand him watching me in silence. I felt...weird. I cleared my throat.

"Anyway," I said as I turned back to him. He was sitting lazily in his armchair, slumped a little, one leg outstretched, right elbow now propped up on the arm of the chair, curled fingers resting against his lips.

_Argh. How annoying. I swear he does this on purpose. Maker knows what he hopes to achieve by it. He looks so smug. I just wanna go over there and...and..._

Pull his too-tight pants off?

_No, no no no no no no, by the Void, brain, what's wrong with you?! _

"And? Who's the third person?" He said as he stared intensely at me, seemingly amused by my inner turmoil. . I raised my eyebrows in mock innocence, then grinned as widely as my face would allow before turning on my heel and strolling for the door. I paused momentarily in the doorway and said over my shoulder,

"The third is...a secret admirer."

**Howdy. Just a short one to kick things off. I have so much Fenris fluff in my head, it's threatening to burst. So, I thought I'd pull it all out before that happens. If you ever have an idea for a situation you'd like to see, don't hesitate to PM me or what not. **

**(I'll keep 'Thought of You' separate, but this series will be in the same style. Just a buncha fluffs. :D)**

**Oh, and just a heads up that these will be based on my various Fem!Hawkes, as I create a different persona for all of them, and I never went with the default "Marian". I also change Fenris slightly depending on the Hawke.**

**Trying to keep myself busy till DA3 turns up. :D**


	2. The Gallows Talk

**Hey there~ Thank you to the people who have followed the series, I hope not to disappoint!**

**Hawke: Lotus (Mage) Act II  
**

**This one's more angsty then fluff, it's more like...angsty-fluff. **

**Happy reading~!**

* * *

"I wish you'd stop going to the Gallows, Hawke." I heard the words uttered from behind me in a low voice, and I stood up from my desk, glancing around the empty room until I saw the lithe figure that slowly stalked out of the shadows to greet me. I stayed by my desk with my hands on my hips as Fenris walked out of the foyer of my estate to stand in front of the fire with my mabari, facing me, but his gaze turned to look at the flames, as if he hadn't said anything.

"What?" I said, as if I hadn't heard. He sharply turned his gaze towards me, his green eyes flashing in...annoyance? Frustration? Sadness? I still found it hard to tell. I noticed Bodhan anxiously exit the room, pulling Sandal along with him. I didn't stop them.

"You heard me, Hawke." He retorted harshly, before biting back his words and continuing in a less threatening tone. "Meredith doesn't _need_ any more reasons to take you away. The only things holding her back is the nobles and your title of Champion. Even then, do _one thing _she doesn't like and she'll be on you in an instant, cleaving through the nobility if she has to." His tone changing back into a growl, as it had the tendency to do when he was getting emotional. Whether he was sad, angry, even when he was happy. _Growl growl growl. Like a wolf. Or like a very scary bear. _

Wait, no. Probably not a good idea to mock him when he's angry with me. I sighed and crossed my arms, joining him in front of the fire. Cornelius, my mabari, huffed and snorted from between us as his spot on the rug became threatened by our presence. He sneezed rather noisily before heaving himself up, dragging himself to the other side of the fire, and flopping back down again. I watched him relocate, but Fenris never took his eyes off me. I took a deep breath.

"I can't stop going altogether. I do jobs for the Templars, remember?" Before I could continue he interrupted.

"But do you_ have _to go alone? Like today? You could've at least taken Varric or Isabela, the Hanged man is on the way to the docks."

"I wasn't even on a mission today, Fenris. I was simply delivering supplies for Solivitus. Nothing ground breaking." He scowled. I refused to look him in the eye. He was being unreasonable.

"It was evening. The store owners were packing up, shoppers are gone, the only people left are mages and Templars, neither of whom I trust. Which of the tranquil would protect you, should a rogue Templar decide to exact revenge?" I met his gaze and returned the sour look he was giving me.

"Don't be ridiculous! Cullen's always there, and Thrask and Emeric. Need I go on? I've helped them. Meredith _knows_ I've been helping the Templars..."

"She might also know that you haven't always "helped" in the appropriate ways! What are they going to do when it comes down a conflict? Thrask had you help a group of...of _blood mages_ escape, and Emeric has been reprimanded for sending guards on a wild goose chase! Neither of them are going to be of any use to you, especially if their own positions come into question." I threw my hands in irritation before starting to pace back and forth in front of the fire.

"Fine! Cullen, then. He's the Knight-Captain, and for good reason. He has no reason to believe I need locking up."

"That's right, Knight-_Captain_, which means he'll do what Meredith tells him." he snapped in response, turning to watch me pace, his arms now crossed across his chest. "You're confident to the point of arrogance, Hawke! You're reckless with your freedom!" I stopped and slowly turned around to face him. His words took some time to sink in. I could tell by his pained expression that he hadn't meant to say that, well, not out loud at any rate.

"You think..." I started, the weakness in my own voice startling me a little. He shook his head, like he was trying to rid himself of weakening thoughts and interrupted once again.

"Besides, it's the not the "locking up" that I'm afraid of Hawke, you'd get out. Somehow you would, because you're Hawke, Kirkwall's undefeatable Champion." He paused for a moment, glanced at me with his apple green eyes. Their depths froze me for what felt like an age, but then he returned to staring at the floor before continuing. "That's not what I'm afraid of. Meredith's _seen_ your power; she knows that you're a threat to her position. She wouldn't be satisfied with just locking you up." As he spoke I took some tentative steps in his direction. "She'd make you _tranquil_, Lotus. And that's not something I can save you from. That's not something anyone can save you from." He was looking at the fire, the harshness gone from his voice, now he sounded bitter and remorseful.

"Fenris..." I whispered. He's...worried? _I've_ been making him worried? I hadn't even considered it. I just presumed that after he left he'd...not care anymore. I don't know what I thought. Maybe I've been doing this on purpose, to provoke him. "Oh maker, I'm so sor-" I started but once again he cut me off.

_"Stop." _He snarled as he grabbed my right hand 's wrist, I didn't even realise I'd begun reaching for him. His eyes were dark, shadowed by his fringe hanging over them. His upper lip was sneering, revealing unusually sharp canine teeth. Instinctively I tried to take a step back, we were suddenly way too close, his grip on my wrist tight, too tight. I had upset him. I'm Hawke, he's Fenris. I know him. I know damn well what kind of person he is, that he gets angry easily, especially when it involves me. This was my fault. My vision started getting fuzzy.

_Oh Maker, please, not now. I don't cry. I just don't. No matter what happens. I. Don't. Cry._

I couldn't even see anymore, the tears were there but they refused to leave my eyes. I dared not blink for fear of them spilling over. I must've looked pathetic.

_"I'm sorry-" _I managed to squeak out before he yanked my hand so hard that I stumbled into him, and his free hand took a fistful of my hair, pulling my head forward and shoving my lips onto his. My immediate reaction was to close my eyes, the stubborn tears finally running down my face. It mustn't have only hurt me, because he grunted in pain, and then just as suddenly as he'd pulled me in, he drew away. His grip softened, like he had surprised himself. He let go of my hair and my wrist and instead wrapped his arms around my waist protectively, this time gently holding me like one would a child. He had his face nuzzled into my neck, and I could swear his shoulders were jerking slightly. I sighed. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Emotions like these were new to him. That's why he always sounded angry, because anger was familiar. He knew how to be angry. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing my left hand gently on the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair.

_"Shh, it's alright. I know you didn't mean to do that."_ I whispered softly into his ear. He took a shuddering breath and a step back, to look at me. He frowned.

"How...how can you be so forgiving Hawke? That...was completely inappropriate, you have every right to push me away..." He struggled to talk over the raging conflict was going on behind his eyes. I knew part of him wanted to run away, part of him wanted to be comforted and another part just wanted to say 'I'm sorry'. I shook my head.

"What can we do about that?" he gave me a confused look. "About the Gallows? How about this? I... promise I won't go there unless you're with me?"

"You don't have to do tha-." He started but this time I cut_ him _off.

"Yes, I do. You've made a good point. A few...good points. And besides, if you leave without us making a decision, this will have all been for nothing. You'll continue to worry, and I'll continue...to be reckless with my freedom." We disentangled ourselves from each other and Fenris looked so forlorn that I wanted to hug him again, but I refrained.

"I didn't..." He began.

"Are you happy with that decision?" I crossed my arms, the tears gone and I was back to my usual, not-blubbering self. He cocked his head to one side, staring at me quizzically.

"I, yes. Yes, I suppose I am."

"Then we needn't speak of...this...until you're ready." As I said 'this' I'd gestured to the room around us. 'This' had become code between us meaning our "relationship" on the whole. I'd made it obvious I wasn't going to move on to anyone else, that I was going to wait for him, and he was just going to have to live with that. He gave me a lop-sided smile and a comfortable silence ensued for a few seconds, before Orana came in from the kitchen.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mistress! Should I put this to the side...?" She said, holding a tray of sliced meat and steaming vegetables. There was clearly enough for two people. I rolled my eyes. _Bohdan, _I thought, mentally reprimanding the absent dwarf.

"No, that's fine Orana. Right on time, in fact. Come on, Fenris."

"What? I, uh, I mean-."

"Oh, be a good guest and stay for dinner." He snorted in response.

"As you say, Hawke."

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**Hello again~ In my headcanon, my mage's Fenris is a little more protective than warrior or rogue Hawke's Fenris. I hope that makes sense. I also hope that it didn't seem to OOC. **

**I believe I forgot to mention that the first chapter's Hawke, (Sparrow), was my warrior, so now I've just gotta introduce you to my rogue~**

**Oh and don't forget, I'm always willing to accept prompts. My life's a little boring at the moment. Anyway, I'll shut up now. ****Thank you for reading~! **


	3. A Show in the Deep Roads

**My muse decided to run away, sorry. Things might get a bit clunky from here on out. Please bear with me! Also, the use of the word "ass" is made here, but if you've played Dragon Age II then you should be used to it. I'm also thinking of changing the rating as my "fluff" can tend to lean towards "smut" without me even realising. Anyway! Enough of that.**

**This short focuses mainly around a conversation **_**about**_** Hawke, between Bartrand and Varric during the deep roads expedition. **

**Hawke:**** Atlanta (rogue), Act I**

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"What do you think of the lackies and their respective hobbies?" Bartrand muttered to Varric as they sat a short distance away from the camp, rationing their liquor between the two of them and finalizing plans for their next bout of spelunking. Except for the fact that the plans had been forgotten for the most part and they'd moved on to Wicked Grace. Varric thumbed his cards and scoffed.

"What? Frederick likes to pick up shiny rocks and stuff them in his pocket, regardless of how worthless they actually are, Thomas does scratchings of darkspawn into the rock face, and I don't even wanna know what Percy's doin' when he disappears for random amounts of time, then comes back looking rather pleased with himself." Bartrand snorted in response,

"Not _those_ lackies, _Hawke's_ lackies." Varric grunted his reply,

"Pfff, Broody and Blondie? Broody likes to brood and Blondie likes to rant, usually about Templars and how evil they are. Neither of which I'm inclined to take up, if that's what you're worried about."

"Tch, I _know_ what they _were_ obsessing over, but after two days of being down here their interests seemed to have changed. Come on you duster, Varric! You can't say you haven't noticed. Bah, and Mother always said _you_ were the sharp one."

Varric raised his eyes from the cards in front of him to stare at his brother, who was quite smugly perusing his own set. He quickly flicked his gaze over to where Hawke and "her lackies" were sitting around the campfire. He squinted at them for a moment, Anders and Fenris seemed to be having a stare down, a very subtle battle that took a temporary truce every time Hawke looked in their direction. He went back to examining his own hand, reordering them even though it wasn't necessary.

"They...argue more than before? I fail to see what you're getting at Bartrand. It's nothing I haven't seen before." He said, suspicious of whether Bartrand had an actual point or whether he was just trying to distract Varric from the game. Bartrand chuckled, like he knew something.

"I'm not usually one for guessing games, little brother, but I'll give you a clue." He sniggered, obviously enjoying Varric's naïveté. "Their mutual hobby requires a great deal of staring and revolves around something they want to plunder. Heh, ironic considering where we are." Varric rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh. Bartrand started to grin as the realisation dawned on his brother.

"Eloquent as always, Bartrand." He muttered, but the description wasn't lost on him. He _had_ noticed. By the Void, it was impossible not to.

"Haha! You'd think by the way they stare that the treasure we've come to find is Hawke's ass. Ehehe, they're probably wondering why we're still down here!" He was chortling away to himself, quite pleased with this revelation. Varric shook his head.

Out of all the companions Hawke had picked up in Kirkwall over the few months, they'd known Blondie the longest, and Broody the shortest. At first he'd thought it was a strange pair to pick. Then he'd remembered that Hawke wasn't stupid, she hadn't picked them for their pleasant company or dashing good looks. Anders is a healer, the only mage in the group that was able to heal everyone in the party simultaneously and even bring them back from unconsciousness, a useful talent; and Broody was a warrior of exceptional skill, which offset her rogue skills nicely. Hawke hadn't wanted to bring Aveline, for the same reasons she hadn't wanted Sunshine to come. Also, they had only known the elf for a few weeks. At first Varric saw this as a safe bet, Hawke barely knew him, therefore he wouldn't be a burden on her conscience. Varric should've known better though, seeing as how she'd flirted with the elf from the word go.

Which, needless to say, was completely unlike her. He'd noticed that Hawke was very careful about how she treated people. She could...change herself...to suit a situation, or a person. Genuine flirting was something she didn't do. She just didn't.

She was playful and teasing with Isabela, so much so that you'd think they'd grown up together.

She would be childlike and chirpy with Daisy, yet firm when needed, kind of like a mother-type figure or a sister.

She'd joke and sympathize with Anders. Blondie saw her unending patience as some sign they were destined to be together. Varric snorted at the thought. The poor boy certainly had high hopes.

She was a little closer to her real self when with Aveline, when they were together it was all business and toughness and protection.

Even though the Prince wasn't a member of their merry band yet, she was loyal and supportive with Sebastian, but there was something lacking in her performance. It had taken Varric a while to pinpoint it, but he'd some to the conclusion that the Prince's indecisiveness was rubbing Hawke the wrong way. He got the feeling that if Sebastian was completely set on reclaiming his throne, _or_ fully convinced he should stay in the Chantry, then Hawke wouldn't have a problem. Yet, he was the Indecisive Prince. And it was annoying.

But when she'd met the Tevinter elf...that was a different scenario altogether. Varric had never seen Hawke lose composure before; he'd thought something was wrong with her for the first few minutes after the elf had made his appearance. She'd smiled way too much, a nervous tic he'd discovered she had, she'd blurted things out that she'd never normally say, and to top it all off she flirted with him, something Varric hadn't known she'd been able to do without Isabela's presence. It had been interesting to watch their interactions on that first night after accepting Anso's job; Broody's awkward cough/laugh, Hawke's sudden trouble with the common language... it was in moments like those that Varric was glad _he_ wasn't the star of the show.

When Varric himself had met her, he'd instantly noticed that she was mimicking him, or trying to at least. He'd pulled her up on it immediately. He remembered her raising an eyebrow at him, then the slow smile that had spread across her face. A smile he'd never forget. After that their mutual respect for each other seemed to heighten. Without a word they had been able to establish that he knew what she was doing, and she knew that he knew. He also loved that he finally had someone to banter with, to send winks to during a "serious" conversation or moment.

Now, that being said, Hawke wasn't a fake. She genuinely enjoyed the company of each companion, most of the time at any rate. It's just that she was sharp. Nothing passed her notice. He still remembered what she'd told him one night,

_"It's like being an actor, but enjoying _all _my roles. It is fun to joke with Isabela, but it's refreshing to be simple and naive with Merril. Minus the blood magic and all that of course. When with Aveline, I get things done, and it's a strong friendship, I know she has my back. I appreciate Sebastian's faith, but I do wish he'd make up his mind. I can understand where Anders is coming from, so to a certain extent I can sympathize and agree, but I also understand how Fenris must see things so I can, mostly, agree with him too. I never agree with them just to make them happy, however."_

_"Sounds like you have a tough script Hawke." He'd replied. She'd grinned. _

_"I wouldn't have it any other way. Things would be boring, otherwise."_

"Varric! Oi, where'd you go?!" Varric jolted up from his slouched position and snapped his gaze to Bartrand, who was sitting across from him, fuming. _Oops. Must've been daydreaming._

"Bah! Don't tell me I've offended you cause of what I said about Hawke!" He huffed and Varric was about to respond when they both heard steps coming in their direction.

"What exactly _did _you say about Hawke?" A playful voice chimed in and they both turned to face Atlanta Hawke as she sauntered over, hands behind her back.

"Pah. I was merely commenting on the entertainment your ass seems to provide for your male companions." Bartrand grumbled as he settled back on his rock, collecting the cards back up, obviously fed up with the game.

_"Bartrand!"_ Varric hissed at his brother, the last thing the expedition needed was for its organizer and leader to be executed. But, to his surprise, Hawke laughed, somewhat nervously. Very unlike her. But, she stayed true to form, and added rather nonchalantly,

"Well, I should hope so, my behind is quite the sight to behold." She waved a hand through the air dramatically and Varric stifled a chuckle as Bartrand snorted.

"Just so long as you know you're giving them a show, Hawke." He said and she bowed elegantly while saying,

"And the show must go on, wouldn't you say, ser dwarf?"

Bartrand snorted again.

The company had finished its rest and they'd headed off again. Varric strode by Hawke's side during a more quite part of their venture and now, thanks to Bartrand, he was ever aware of the two sets of eyes that lurked behind them. He had to resist the urge to spin around and catch them in the act.

"Do they really stare?" Hawke muttered to him and he caught himself snapping his eyes in her direction. She was looking straight ahead, alert, like she hadn't said anything. He quickly regained his senses and also returned his attention to the road ahead.

"Heh, Hawke, if there's _one_ thing they'll stop arguing to do; it's to stare at you. Ass is the easiest body part to notice when you're the one leading, but they'll settle for anything."

"That's...kind of disturbing." She said, but he could practically _hear_ the smile in her voice.

"Go on, admit it, you like it." He chuckled.  
"About as much as _you_ enjoy Isabela eyeing off your chest hair, Varric." She responded playfully. He smirked as he realised he _did_ enjoy that. They continued on their way, both grinning madly.

...

Little known to Bartrand, Varric or Hawke, Fenris himself wasn't actually watching Hawke's butt, most of the time he was actually watching her waist. He liked the shape it made. He finally understood the term "hour-glass" figure. It's like the curves her waist made were perfect for hands. He thought about putting his hands on her waist. He wondered what it would feel like. Pulling her close like dancers did at the many fancy events Danarius had been invited to. He'd seen so many that he knew the steps of several off by heart. Not because he'd had too, but because it was something else to think about. Something almost resembling "fun". He imagined having her that close to him, holding that waist he stared at for hours on end. Squeezing her. Pushing her against a wall. Pulling her down on top of him...

This is usually about the point in his thoughts where he'd shake his head roughly and suddenly become very angry with her for no reason whatsoever. He'd start thinking; _How dare she do this to me. Why does she tempt me like this? Doesn't she see how I suffer under her gaze...Wait. Now I sound like Varric. Ugh!_

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**Alright, I know that wasn't exclusively HawkeXFenris, but that's why I made the description for this series rather vague. I apologise for misleading anyone. Haha, actually, no, I regret nothing.**

**But, I **_**do**_** hope you enjoyed it. The next ones will be more fluffy and more about the couple themselves. Remember, I'm open to prompts! **

**Thanks for reading~**


	4. Beauty in Different Forms

**Sorry for the delay! My university application is taking forever to be assessed and it's driving me mad. D: **

**I'd like to send a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and/or followed! It means a lot! Really! It does! I'm glad to know there's some people other than me who like fluff~**

**Now, on with the show. (although, I apologise for the shortness of this one.)**

**Hawke: **Sparrow (warrior)

**Post Act III, pro-mage ending (not that knowing this really adds to the story at all XD) **

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Sparrow Hawke trudged through the cave sullenly. Nothing interesting had happened. Until, that is, she heard the sound of water, falling water, and a great deal of it. She focused her attention ahead of her as her interest in the cave was renewed. Finally she rounded a corner to find a curtain of shimmering water covering the exit. Beyond the waterfall, the cavern opened out into a small glade, as the "ceiling" had deteriorated letting sunlight stream down onto a small island covered in moss. Strangely enough, there was also a solitary pine tree standing on this "island", and it had grown far beyond the hole in the cave. She wondered how it had managed to grow here, amongst the moss and water and stone.

Hawke had stopped to bask in the view, rendered speechless by the discovery. She jumped when something touched her right hand, but immediately sighed with relief when she saw that it had just been Fenris, who'd reached out to hold her hand. He tried to hold back the snicker that started to grow at the sight of her reaction, but he didn't succeed. Hawke rolled her eyes, in annoyance and embarrassment as she turned her gaze back to the cavern's hidden glade.

"And you were saying _I'm _the one who needs to lighten up." Fenris remarked as he successfully caught her hand this time, without her nearly having a heart attack.

"Yes, well," She replied in mock irritation, "You snuck up on me."

"I've been with you the whole time." He said curiously, raising an eyebrow at her as he watched her profile. She laughed in response, saying 'I know' and he looked away as he felt heat rising up his neck, threatening to become a blush. Hawke squeezed his hand; even though they were both wearing armoured gloves, so it was about as intimate as holding hands with a Qunari, but it was the sentiment that mattered. Hawke then remembered something and turned to face the elf, pulling him over to her easily. This time it was Hawke's turn to laugh at his reaction as she drew him close.

"I'd completely forgotten that we're alone." She chuckled as she linked her arms around his waist. Hawke was taller than him by several centimetres, which meant his eyes came up to just below hers. He angled his face up slightly and stood on his toes so that he could press the tip of his nose to hers which always made her giggle. A sight not many got to behold.

Thankfully for Fenris, he had no previous relationship in memory to compare this with, so the height difference didn't bother him in the slightest. Because to him it was normal, it was Hawke. Hawke, who he had met over six years ago. Hawke, who was a warrior, who was strong and tall. Hawke, who could wrap him in her arms so effortlessly that sometimes it frightened him. Hawke, the Champion, the Warhound, whom _he, _of all people, could get to giggle like a schoolgirl. Hawke, the woman he couldn't have hurt more even if he'd tried, who had loved him despite it, and still did, and although it had taken him a long time to realize it, she always would.

"What are you thinking about?" She inquired gently, staring into his eyes, a mischievous smile on her lips. He returned his attention to the present and resisted the urge to kiss her right there. Instead, he smiled in return, at least he _hoped_ it was a smile, he was still getting used to the expression, and glanced over at the island of moss.

"I was just thinking that it's a shame Varric and Isabela are waiting for us back the cave's mouth...a beautiful place like this needs to be enjoyed properly." She caught onto his playful tone and snorted.

"Oh? And how exactly do we enjoy it "properly"? A picnic, perhaps?" She sung innocently. He paused for a moment and cocked his head to one side as he looked at her again and said,

"Is that one of Isabela's innuendos, or are you being serious?" Hawke laughed lightly, tilting her head back slightly. He again had the desire to kiss her exposed neck, but held back, as he didn't relish the idea of hearing about it from the dwarf and the pirate for the next few weeks; maybe even months depending on how much they could exaggerate the story. Hawke pulled back and let go of him, heading back towards the mouth of the cave.

"Well, I've got it marked on the map now, so we can come back later with everyone. Maybe have lunch? Merril would like that." She said conversationally.

"Wait? What?" His mouth said before his brain could stop him from sounding so dejected. Hawke stopped suddenly and he nearly ran into her. She turned to face him and leaned in so their noses were nearly touching and he could feel her breath on his lips.

"Then, perhaps that same evening, we can come here, alone, and you can demonstrate exactly what you meant by_ proper enjoyment._" She flashed a devilish grin before turning on her heel and continuing on her way like she'd said nothing. He shook his head sharply before following.

"_Evil woman." _He growled under his breath, then found himself cursing as he realised his voice had echoed off the walls and now he could hear Hawke chuckling to herself.

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**It was really hard for me to not go into smut territory here. I danced with death on this one, friends.**

**I'm hoping once Uni is sorted out I'll be more regular, but then again it might have the opposite affect. **

**Thanks for reading~! **


	5. Coping with inner turmoil

**Hi there! First of all, I'm handing out gold stars to anyone who still follows my silly little drabbles. Second, I'm so sorry for the delay. This one is possibly my sappiest piece yet. I suppose it's fluff/comfort? Hm. I'll try to do something more amusing and fluffy next.**

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**Act 3**

**Post reconciliation with Fenris  
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**Hawke: **Sparrow** Class: **Warrior

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Hawke sat on the floor. Her back was against the stone wall, legs pulled up to her chest. She was crying into her hands.  
"You don't understand!" She suddenly cried out, raising her head slightly. He could see the anguish on her features, her eyebrows were knotted together, her eyes were bloodshot and wet. "I might be a bloody mabari warhound on the outside, but in here-" She jabbed her index finger into her chest, over her heart, accusingly, "In _here_ I'm weak. All I amount to is a frightened little girl, who can do nothing to protect herself or her family. You don't want _me_ Fenris, you don't _need me_. You want the idea of me, and that's what you deserve! Someone strong... someone... that everyone keeps mistaking me for." Sparrow broke down again, her words becoming fragmented, split by gulping breaths and sobs that racked her body.

The elf found himself at a loss. It had taken a long time for her to eventually tell him what plagued her mind. When she did finally confess her deepest fears, nothing could have prepared Fenris for what he had heard. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't that she constantly doubted herself. The day she'd told him just how afraid she was, was the day he saw a side of her he hadn't known existed. He remembered that moment in the middle of the night as silent tears had fell from her eyes. In that moment as she'd faced the fire, he had never seen her so...fragile. Bloody and bruised, yes. Winded and shattered by the Arishok's crushing blows, certainly. But _never_ fragile. It was the night after he'd given his whole being over to her, when he'd confronted his feelings and laid them bare before her.

And she'd forgiven him. So freely, so easily.

The next night he'd learned that she did not see herself as worthy of him. She'd tried to end their relationship before it had begun. They'd spent the night talking, or arguing, depending on how you looked at it. They had a war of words, a battle Fenris never thought he'd be able to win. Yet he certainly wasn't going to leave her, not when she needed him most. That was several weeks ago now. On the whole she had been...better. There was a light back in her eyes and a gleam in her smile. But occasionally it would falter and her own self-doubt would start eating her from the inside out. The first few times it happened Fenris had truly not known what to do. It happened in different ways, sometimes she would cry, other times she would snap angrily and isolate herself. Fenris soon learned that no matter what she did or said, the worst thing he could do was leave her alone. He knew well the emotions she felt, and nothing she said in her lowest moments were any worse than the things he'd said to her. Which didn't mean much considering how scathing he had been on occasion. He really wondered how she could have put up with him for all these years despite having the thoughts that she does. A few years prior this would have convinced him that he was not worthy of being in her company, but now it just gave him more reason to stay.

He now knew of her sorrow and her desire to be a normal woman...a normal girl, again. When she had first told him, he had failed to grasp just how much these feelings hurt her. He was shocked that she had presumed he wouldn't want her once he knew about the emotions she had to deal with.

Something must have triggered her current state, although he couldn't think of what it could be right in that instant. She'd told him that if she's ever crying and yelling at the same time, it means she's worked herself up into a state and someone just needs to slap her around a bit. Hawke had been joking of course, but there was truth in her jest as well. Slapping her was out of the question, he didn't think he would be able to handle the repercussions, but she did need reassurance.

He walked over and knelt by her side, taking her up into his arms, cradling her head and stroking her hair as she cried. Sparrow was always there to comfort any who needed it, yet who comforted her? He supposed everyone just presumed she was fine, that she was Hawke. Hawke the Invincible, never in need of aid herself. He tightened his grip on her protectively. He wished he'd realised it sooner, but wishes were useless. Now that he knew her secrets, nothing was going to stop him from taking up the role of her guardian. He'd spend the rest of his life learning how to erase her doubts and teach her to smile when she's forgotten...just like she'd taught him, even when everything seemed hopeless.

He was taken from his thoughts when Sparrow pulled back slightly to look him in the eye. She asked him what he was thinking. He thought for a moment before telling her what he was determined to do, that he was going to protect her. She gave him a lopsided grin.

"I love it when you're dramatic." She said, her voice cracking from crying. He snorted softly.

"I have you to thank for that." He said lightly in response. Her shoulders started jerking again, and he held his breath out of worry before he realised she was actually laughing and he joined her.

And there they sat, on the cold, tiled floor, just holding each other and laughing. Fenris would never forget this feeling, this surging emotion he could only describe as joy. Joy not only at being with Hawke, but also being able to turn her cries into laughter. It had taken six years, but finally they could understand each other. Maybe not all the time, and maybe not perfectly, however it was all a learning process. A process the both of them were more than willing to go through for the sake of each other.

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**I might start moving my stories over to AO3 soon, so if you're over there then I'm under the username Darth_Sparrowhawk. I'll keep uploading here in the meantime though. So uh, yeah...you don't really need to review unless you want to, because this isn't really a "serious" series or anything, but comments and or favourites are always appreciated.**


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